emotions?

So watched an episode of Lie to Me on Hulu tonight and I thought it would be interesting to look into the science behind the show. 3 hours later I'm done playing with the website for the scientist, Dr. Paul Ekman, who is the person the main protagonist Dr. Lightman is based upon. All of this information has demonstrated to me that emotions truly are universal. Apparently there are seven which are universally identified: Fear, Anger, Happiness, Sadness, Surprise, Contempt, and Disgust. These are not based upon culture but rather are universal across all cultures, and I would bet times. All of this to say that emotions are something that are given us in our creation. They are a part of us. Dr. Ekman repeatedly says that they are a part of our evolutionary process. So at some point in human history we were given this ability to emote visibly through our facial features. There has been a lot of talk in churches about how certain emotions are "sinful" and I am inclined to disagree with that interpretation. I understand that Paul includes anger among his lists of things to "get rid of" but I wonder how that word plays out in the contextual understanding of it in GReco-Roman culture? The word used in Galatians 5:20, Ephesians 4:31, and Colossians 3:8 is Thumos. This word is one of two that I've seen used for anger/wrath/passion the other is orgay. I wonder if Paul's prohibition stems from the actions that follow from anger. I know in my life when I get angry I have to be extra careful not to take that anger out on anyone. Sometimes it helps me to say, "I'm angry right now." Which would be better if I could figure out why I was angry, but that isn't always the case. Anyway, I can't help but think that if this emotion is one of the universal emotions that we experience which has been given us by God, then it probably isn't bad inherently. There are verses such as "in your anger do not sin" (Ephesians 4:26) also written (supposedly) by Paul. So why has the church throughout these last thousand or so years been so a-pathetic (without emotion)? Why is there a stereotype that churches are populated by "the frozen chosen, the colloquial understanding that people do not smile, exhibit joy or happiness, sadness or anything when in a service of corporate worship. Perhaps that is one benefit of the pentecostal tradition and experience of the Holy Spirit in services of worship whereby people might exhibit some of these emotions during worship. I am so glad that people are learning that emotions are "ok" and that they have a place in church. I think anger is even a pretty good emotion. If you look for all the places the word "anger" shows up in scripture it might surprise you to know that it is very often attributed to God. There are even times when Jesus "burns" with anger. One such instance is when he is in a synogogue and a man with a crippled hand is there. It was the Sabbath and the Pharisees (the holiness movement of Jesus' day) didn't want Jesus to heal on teh Sabbath because it was considered "work" according to their understanding of the Mosaic law and the fence around that law which they had developed. Jesus got angry because of their willingness to let this person suffer with a crippled hand because healing was prohibited on the Sabbath. He healed this person and the Pharisees immediately began to conspire against him for not following their rules of conduct. This story is in Mark chapter 3 for anyone interested. Basically what I'm saying is that it's ok to be angry. Though I must caution as the author of Ephesians (possibly Paul) did, in that anger do not fail to remember to love God with everything that you are and to love your neighbor. SO here's the rub, how can I be both angry at my neighbor and still love them? Perhaps that anger is based upon that love. I have been angry at people dear to me when I see them making destructive choices in their lives. It pains me so much because I love them that I get angry at them for causing that pain. Other times I get angry because of something that ahs happened to me, I've been cut off, or I continue to fail at a "simple" task (any golfers reading this?), or whatever reason. If I don't acknowledge that anger than I am likely to dissipate that "steam" in the direction of someone else, often those within my family whom I love more than anyone else. I've even been angry with God. I am here to say (type?) that it is OK TO BE MAD AT GOD. If there is any person that you can be angry with who can take all the anger you can dish out, it is God. No matter what you say or do, God will always love you. So I guess what I'm saying is that when youa re angry, talk it out with God. The Triune God wants nothing more than for us to be honest and open about what we are thinking or feeling. This Dr. Ekman talks about the lies we tell in casual conversations that don't get questioned because we don't want the truth. "How do I look in this dress?" People generally don't have an option with how to answer that question. I'm sure sometimes the truth is less than favorable to the petitioner and other times she really is smokin' hot in that dress. Regardless, that is the answer she wants to hear. Or when you leave a restaurant maybe the hostess/host asks how the meal was I doubt very much that the average person would share that the food waas mediocre and the conversation dull. What do you think about these kind of lies? Are they a way of "loving" our neighbor by spinning the truth a bit? What about the typical covnersation starter, "How're you doing?" How often do you answer that question honestly? Do we hide our emotions from others? I've been working on letting my emotions free. For many years I've hidden my own emotions not only from others, but even from myself. I don't know where I learned it, but someplace I learned that emotions aren't something that is to be demonstrated. I don't know if anybody else is like me, but it is a scary process and often frustrating one trying to figure out what I'm feeling and why. Right now I'm simply resting in God knowing that Jesus, who is 100% God and 100% Human experienced these same range of emotions and can help me grow into them. I was created with emotions, and I need to learn about myself and let God guide me into this portion of my being so that I am not lying to myself or others about how I feel. MY challenge is to be honest when people ask how I'm doing. How might life be different if we all did that? Especially in our Churches where we are spiritually ONE BODY. I think it is some form of psychological disorder when the hand is in pain and the rest of the body doesn't feel it. Perhaps it will do the Church some good if we begin to be real with one another when we are hurting.

I begin wandering

So I've been reading "They Like Jesus but not the Church" by Dan Kimball and I figured I'd set this up so I can put some thoughts down on "paper" and get something of a dialogue going at some point. If no dialogue at least I'll have a place to put my thoughts down so I remember to think about them from time to time. This may also serve in a way of making practice the "examen of consciousness" a very old practice of the Church whereby a Christian would reflect upon their day. Sometimes it is directed at how well I have done that day at living into Christ-likeness as I learn to "love God" and "love neighbor", and other days it is simply a reflective process where I think about where God has shown up throughout my day. I'd like to say I would do this every day, but I struggle with laziness and absent-mindedness and often I'm more interested in going to sleep than thinking about what happened throughout my day. Maybe this blog will help, maybe not...we shall see.

I slept in this morning, not a bad thing since yesterday I was up from 5 am until midnight. MAdeleine let me sleep until around 8 or 9 today...then I played Mario Kart on the Wii...love that game. I spent way too much time playing it though. I feel so guilty about the amount of time I've spent playing video games throughout my life. Sigh. I am glad I went to Riley's (my sister-in-law's son) pre-k graduation ceremony. He looked so happy that Amy, Madeleine, John, and I were there along with his whole family. God showed up in his smile. I wonder if I get that happy to see anyone these days. I imagine I would to see Amy or Madeleine, but I haven't been away fro them. Maybe I'll be that way once I am gone all day and get to come home to them. I've spent a good bit of the evening watching "Tropical Thunder" with Ben Stiller...dumb movie, but I think it was supposed to be. It's redeeming feature though is that it was about the masks we all wear to hide. Whether intended or not it speaks the truth about how people can get so caught up int he roles they are playing at work, home, church, sports teams, schools, etc. that they lose their true identity. That same theme came up as I was reading Kimball's book tonight too; Identity. I wonder what most people root their identity in? For some it is their career. Dr. Mulholland, one of my seminary professors and a man I deeply admire, likes to point out that the first question strangers generally ask one anothe is "what do you do?" or some variation on that theme. For other people their identity is their ethnicity, their sexuality, their religion, their favorite sports team. I wonder what else...their tax bracket maybe? I think for me I'm tempted to find my identity in lots of things, but ultimately I believ that my identity should be found and grounded in the one I believe who gave it to me int he first place, God. I look at Jesus' ministry and it is full of a man who knew who he was, and where the source of his being was found. I wonder when he learned about his existance as "God's Son". Was it at his baptism? I don't know, but I know that Jesus prays for me that I would have the same relationship with God that He has in John 17:20-26. I wonder how different I would spend my days if I went through each moment of the day remembering that Jesus, God incarnate, prayed for me that I would be in God as Jesus is in God. It blows my mind, but if I derive my identity from being in God in the same way that Jesus is in God and God is in Jesus, then I have the capacity for loving everyone in the same way that Jesus does. What gets in the way then? It must be me. Who is "me" though? My guess is that it is the identity given me by God that has been shaped and molded according tot he pattern of this fallen environment which I have dwelt within. The image of God is present in me, but currently it is so sodden with the filth that accompanies living according to my selfish passions rather than the passions of God to love as Jesus loved. It is my prayer this night that God would show me the ways that I am like Jesus and encourage me in them, while at the same time showing me the places where I have failed to love both God and neighbor. All for the purpose of being conformed to the image of God given me to bear at my creation. I want to be more like Jesus tomorrow than I am right now. God, by your Spirit regenerate me.