been a while

Greetings long lost readers...if there are any of you. I've begun to read a very old book by a man named Athanasius. He was an adversary to the Arian Heresy immediately prior to the first Christian Council at Nicea. He was the Bishop of Alexandria and also wrote a biography of sorts about St. Antony one of the first monastics in the Christian faith. Anyway, I'm reading "On the Incarnation". I've just finished the first "chapter" and it was very interesting. He talked about sin being not only a transgression but in sinning and transgressing we allowed corruption to take hold of us, and therefore death. So the first part of this book has been focused on how in the Incarnation of Christ did away with the corruption that is a part of our very being as a consequence of sin in our lives. He talks about how int he Incarnation God, who is by nature incorruptible, took upon flesh, which is corruptible and therefore able to die. In doing So God exposed himself to death in Christ which we all know Jesus died upon the cross. After that death the incorruptible came into conflict with the corruptible and the incorruptible won out and triumphed over the corruptive power supreme, death. Thus the resurrection is of prime importance because of the nature of the incarnation. It is within the incarnation that God came among us and experienced the depth of our corruption through aging and all the other crap we deal with because of our sinful habits and ultimately through death. Now I don't know what Athanasius would say "happened" when Jesus died, but it seems to me that when Jesus' body died the real battle began between the corruptible and the incorruptible. Whether that was in a spiritual form or not I don't know. I'm inclineed to think that there isn't so much of a separation of mind and body simply because I don't want to bow my head to Plato. The Hebrews had a more wholeistic view of heart (being), soul (mind), and power (energy?) being linked together and inseparable. I'm inclined toward that mode of thinking first because I like it and second because everything else in creation is connected, why not the things which make us, us? So back to the incarnation. I think that it is interesting that God in the creation stories in scripture calls creation "good". So after creation which I'm inclined to believe was at that time incorrputible, or as close as it could be to that nature with God being the only true incorruptible being. Maybe it was the tree of life and our constant proximity to it that made us "incorruptible". Maybe God is the "tree of life" or the tree is a type for God? Regardless of the literal or symbolic nature of the tree, when we were expelled from the Garden of Eden for our trespass we subsequently began to experience corruption. According to the story it tool a while for it to take hold of us...sometime after Noah I believe. It seems since then that the only way to escape the corruption was to "walk with God" as Enoch did (though he was before Noah I am pretty sure). So maybe that is a part of it. In the incarnation God not only "came near" but gave us (humanity) someone we could relate to on a very intimate and personal level. Someone we could "take, eat, and drink" from. This brings me to Jesus, because he is that person, God made flesh, the incorruptible dwelling in a corruptible form. God gave us access to the incorruptibility that HE is through relating to us as one of us. AS MAdeleine L'Engle has said regarding this idea that in Jesus taking upon himself flesh he made "matter matter". In a sense re-purposing it from corruption to life. So as we relate to Jesus in our daily lives we are renewed by that which is incorruptible and are given a sense of that incorruptibility. You see, the Spirit which was in Christ is also in us renewing us into that incorruptible image of God that Jesus bore. So in a sense we are experiencing a form of regeneration (as John Wesley called it) every time we relate to that which is incorruptible. Also, if that which is incorruptible is within us as it was within Jesus then we too shall not be held by death. This is the Christian Hope! I think I'm beginning to see it, The Holy Spirit in Jesus, incorruptibility in Him, is now given to me and this incorruptibility within me is transforming me in a regenerative fashion and dwelling within me thus someday making me too incorruptible. Thus defeating death within me. That while I may die that which is incorruptible within me, the Spirit of God which is regenerating the image of God within me will rise again because death cannot defeat me, what was once corrupted by sin and death is in the process of being transformed into incorruptibility. This is the necessity of being in communion with GOd and giving God room in our lives, so that we might be transformed by the renewing of our entire being to the heart which was in Christ Jesus. I am so glad to be a United Methodist and able to believe in the process of sanctification and regeneration! God continue to renew me, day by day! Help me to become more like Jesus every moment I live. Put in me, what I cannot be of my own accord. REnew the incorruptible within me, the corrupted.

trust

Tonight I was reading a book that I have been told to read and I find myself being angry that I have been told to read it. It feels like I've been insulted, and yet I know in my head that I have not been. So I've been thinking about the difference between two different people who tell me to read a book. I find that I am filled with joy if I am told to read a book by someone I both know and trust. Whereas if I've been told to read a book by someone whom I do not know and whom does not know me I balk at the idea. I think a part of it is that some part of me thinks that when the respected person tells me to read a book I KNOW that they have my best interests at heart. In the other instance, I'm not so sure. This book I'm reading now is teaching me a lot about how I relate to people. The people who require me to read books; professors, committees, etc. are probably doing so for MY benefit. If so, then why do I balk at this task? If this is something that will genuinely help me to grow and be a better pastor, person, father, husband, or whatever then why do I get upset? Part of it is my pride, I don't like to be judged any more than the next person. Being told I have to grow in an area reminds me of just how much more I have to grow. I tend toward the prideful side in life. I like to think I've got it all figured out and don't welcome criticism, except from people whom I trust and respect. I guess that is the key here...my pride and my lack of faith in people with whom I do not have much of a relationship. I think this is a lesson that goes for many of us who would call ourselves Christian. When we seek to share the Gospel with people we should build a relationship of trust so that when we recommend something to someone, perhaps a relationship with Triune God(?), we will be listened to because the person knows we have their best interests at heart. Yet, as it stands I desire to be humble. So God I pray that you would help me to be humble, especially as it concerns my relationships with those in authority over me whom I do not have much relationship with. Help me to trust that they have my best interests in mind when they tell me to do something. Whether it is read a book, write a book, stop doing something, practice doing something more, or whatever. It is hard to trust people I do not know, but with the help of God I will learn to trust those placed in authority over me, especially the ones I do not yet know.

emotions?

So watched an episode of Lie to Me on Hulu tonight and I thought it would be interesting to look into the science behind the show. 3 hours later I'm done playing with the website for the scientist, Dr. Paul Ekman, who is the person the main protagonist Dr. Lightman is based upon. All of this information has demonstrated to me that emotions truly are universal. Apparently there are seven which are universally identified: Fear, Anger, Happiness, Sadness, Surprise, Contempt, and Disgust. These are not based upon culture but rather are universal across all cultures, and I would bet times. All of this to say that emotions are something that are given us in our creation. They are a part of us. Dr. Ekman repeatedly says that they are a part of our evolutionary process. So at some point in human history we were given this ability to emote visibly through our facial features. There has been a lot of talk in churches about how certain emotions are "sinful" and I am inclined to disagree with that interpretation. I understand that Paul includes anger among his lists of things to "get rid of" but I wonder how that word plays out in the contextual understanding of it in GReco-Roman culture? The word used in Galatians 5:20, Ephesians 4:31, and Colossians 3:8 is Thumos. This word is one of two that I've seen used for anger/wrath/passion the other is orgay. I wonder if Paul's prohibition stems from the actions that follow from anger. I know in my life when I get angry I have to be extra careful not to take that anger out on anyone. Sometimes it helps me to say, "I'm angry right now." Which would be better if I could figure out why I was angry, but that isn't always the case. Anyway, I can't help but think that if this emotion is one of the universal emotions that we experience which has been given us by God, then it probably isn't bad inherently. There are verses such as "in your anger do not sin" (Ephesians 4:26) also written (supposedly) by Paul. So why has the church throughout these last thousand or so years been so a-pathetic (without emotion)? Why is there a stereotype that churches are populated by "the frozen chosen, the colloquial understanding that people do not smile, exhibit joy or happiness, sadness or anything when in a service of corporate worship. Perhaps that is one benefit of the pentecostal tradition and experience of the Holy Spirit in services of worship whereby people might exhibit some of these emotions during worship. I am so glad that people are learning that emotions are "ok" and that they have a place in church. I think anger is even a pretty good emotion. If you look for all the places the word "anger" shows up in scripture it might surprise you to know that it is very often attributed to God. There are even times when Jesus "burns" with anger. One such instance is when he is in a synogogue and a man with a crippled hand is there. It was the Sabbath and the Pharisees (the holiness movement of Jesus' day) didn't want Jesus to heal on teh Sabbath because it was considered "work" according to their understanding of the Mosaic law and the fence around that law which they had developed. Jesus got angry because of their willingness to let this person suffer with a crippled hand because healing was prohibited on the Sabbath. He healed this person and the Pharisees immediately began to conspire against him for not following their rules of conduct. This story is in Mark chapter 3 for anyone interested. Basically what I'm saying is that it's ok to be angry. Though I must caution as the author of Ephesians (possibly Paul) did, in that anger do not fail to remember to love God with everything that you are and to love your neighbor. SO here's the rub, how can I be both angry at my neighbor and still love them? Perhaps that anger is based upon that love. I have been angry at people dear to me when I see them making destructive choices in their lives. It pains me so much because I love them that I get angry at them for causing that pain. Other times I get angry because of something that ahs happened to me, I've been cut off, or I continue to fail at a "simple" task (any golfers reading this?), or whatever reason. If I don't acknowledge that anger than I am likely to dissipate that "steam" in the direction of someone else, often those within my family whom I love more than anyone else. I've even been angry with God. I am here to say (type?) that it is OK TO BE MAD AT GOD. If there is any person that you can be angry with who can take all the anger you can dish out, it is God. No matter what you say or do, God will always love you. So I guess what I'm saying is that when youa re angry, talk it out with God. The Triune God wants nothing more than for us to be honest and open about what we are thinking or feeling. This Dr. Ekman talks about the lies we tell in casual conversations that don't get questioned because we don't want the truth. "How do I look in this dress?" People generally don't have an option with how to answer that question. I'm sure sometimes the truth is less than favorable to the petitioner and other times she really is smokin' hot in that dress. Regardless, that is the answer she wants to hear. Or when you leave a restaurant maybe the hostess/host asks how the meal was I doubt very much that the average person would share that the food waas mediocre and the conversation dull. What do you think about these kind of lies? Are they a way of "loving" our neighbor by spinning the truth a bit? What about the typical covnersation starter, "How're you doing?" How often do you answer that question honestly? Do we hide our emotions from others? I've been working on letting my emotions free. For many years I've hidden my own emotions not only from others, but even from myself. I don't know where I learned it, but someplace I learned that emotions aren't something that is to be demonstrated. I don't know if anybody else is like me, but it is a scary process and often frustrating one trying to figure out what I'm feeling and why. Right now I'm simply resting in God knowing that Jesus, who is 100% God and 100% Human experienced these same range of emotions and can help me grow into them. I was created with emotions, and I need to learn about myself and let God guide me into this portion of my being so that I am not lying to myself or others about how I feel. MY challenge is to be honest when people ask how I'm doing. How might life be different if we all did that? Especially in our Churches where we are spiritually ONE BODY. I think it is some form of psychological disorder when the hand is in pain and the rest of the body doesn't feel it. Perhaps it will do the Church some good if we begin to be real with one another when we are hurting.

I begin wandering

So I've been reading "They Like Jesus but not the Church" by Dan Kimball and I figured I'd set this up so I can put some thoughts down on "paper" and get something of a dialogue going at some point. If no dialogue at least I'll have a place to put my thoughts down so I remember to think about them from time to time. This may also serve in a way of making practice the "examen of consciousness" a very old practice of the Church whereby a Christian would reflect upon their day. Sometimes it is directed at how well I have done that day at living into Christ-likeness as I learn to "love God" and "love neighbor", and other days it is simply a reflective process where I think about where God has shown up throughout my day. I'd like to say I would do this every day, but I struggle with laziness and absent-mindedness and often I'm more interested in going to sleep than thinking about what happened throughout my day. Maybe this blog will help, maybe not...we shall see.

I slept in this morning, not a bad thing since yesterday I was up from 5 am until midnight. MAdeleine let me sleep until around 8 or 9 today...then I played Mario Kart on the Wii...love that game. I spent way too much time playing it though. I feel so guilty about the amount of time I've spent playing video games throughout my life. Sigh. I am glad I went to Riley's (my sister-in-law's son) pre-k graduation ceremony. He looked so happy that Amy, Madeleine, John, and I were there along with his whole family. God showed up in his smile. I wonder if I get that happy to see anyone these days. I imagine I would to see Amy or Madeleine, but I haven't been away fro them. Maybe I'll be that way once I am gone all day and get to come home to them. I've spent a good bit of the evening watching "Tropical Thunder" with Ben Stiller...dumb movie, but I think it was supposed to be. It's redeeming feature though is that it was about the masks we all wear to hide. Whether intended or not it speaks the truth about how people can get so caught up int he roles they are playing at work, home, church, sports teams, schools, etc. that they lose their true identity. That same theme came up as I was reading Kimball's book tonight too; Identity. I wonder what most people root their identity in? For some it is their career. Dr. Mulholland, one of my seminary professors and a man I deeply admire, likes to point out that the first question strangers generally ask one anothe is "what do you do?" or some variation on that theme. For other people their identity is their ethnicity, their sexuality, their religion, their favorite sports team. I wonder what else...their tax bracket maybe? I think for me I'm tempted to find my identity in lots of things, but ultimately I believ that my identity should be found and grounded in the one I believe who gave it to me int he first place, God. I look at Jesus' ministry and it is full of a man who knew who he was, and where the source of his being was found. I wonder when he learned about his existance as "God's Son". Was it at his baptism? I don't know, but I know that Jesus prays for me that I would have the same relationship with God that He has in John 17:20-26. I wonder how different I would spend my days if I went through each moment of the day remembering that Jesus, God incarnate, prayed for me that I would be in God as Jesus is in God. It blows my mind, but if I derive my identity from being in God in the same way that Jesus is in God and God is in Jesus, then I have the capacity for loving everyone in the same way that Jesus does. What gets in the way then? It must be me. Who is "me" though? My guess is that it is the identity given me by God that has been shaped and molded according tot he pattern of this fallen environment which I have dwelt within. The image of God is present in me, but currently it is so sodden with the filth that accompanies living according to my selfish passions rather than the passions of God to love as Jesus loved. It is my prayer this night that God would show me the ways that I am like Jesus and encourage me in them, while at the same time showing me the places where I have failed to love both God and neighbor. All for the purpose of being conformed to the image of God given me to bear at my creation. I want to be more like Jesus tomorrow than I am right now. God, by your Spirit regenerate me.