trust

Tonight I was reading a book that I have been told to read and I find myself being angry that I have been told to read it. It feels like I've been insulted, and yet I know in my head that I have not been. So I've been thinking about the difference between two different people who tell me to read a book. I find that I am filled with joy if I am told to read a book by someone I both know and trust. Whereas if I've been told to read a book by someone whom I do not know and whom does not know me I balk at the idea. I think a part of it is that some part of me thinks that when the respected person tells me to read a book I KNOW that they have my best interests at heart. In the other instance, I'm not so sure. This book I'm reading now is teaching me a lot about how I relate to people. The people who require me to read books; professors, committees, etc. are probably doing so for MY benefit. If so, then why do I balk at this task? If this is something that will genuinely help me to grow and be a better pastor, person, father, husband, or whatever then why do I get upset? Part of it is my pride, I don't like to be judged any more than the next person. Being told I have to grow in an area reminds me of just how much more I have to grow. I tend toward the prideful side in life. I like to think I've got it all figured out and don't welcome criticism, except from people whom I trust and respect. I guess that is the key here...my pride and my lack of faith in people with whom I do not have much of a relationship. I think this is a lesson that goes for many of us who would call ourselves Christian. When we seek to share the Gospel with people we should build a relationship of trust so that when we recommend something to someone, perhaps a relationship with Triune God(?), we will be listened to because the person knows we have their best interests at heart. Yet, as it stands I desire to be humble. So God I pray that you would help me to be humble, especially as it concerns my relationships with those in authority over me whom I do not have much relationship with. Help me to trust that they have my best interests in mind when they tell me to do something. Whether it is read a book, write a book, stop doing something, practice doing something more, or whatever. It is hard to trust people I do not know, but with the help of God I will learn to trust those placed in authority over me, especially the ones I do not yet know.